Opening Paragraphs: Case Study #7: The Martian by Andy Weir

I’m pretty much fucked.

That’s my considered opinion.

Fucked.

Six days into what should be the greatest month of my life, and its’ turned into a nightmare.

I don’t even know who’ll read this. I guess someone will find it eventually. Maybe a hundred years from now.

For the record…I didn’t die on Sol 6. Certainly the rest of the crew thought I did, and I can’t blame them. Maybe there’ll be a day of national mourning for me, and my Wikipedia page will say, “Mark Watney is the only human being to have died on Mars.

And it’ll be right, probably. ‘Cause I’ll surely die here. Just not on Sol 6 when everyone thinks I did.

Let’s see…where do I begin?

Observations

Right off the bat, I know that the main character is named Mark Watney and he is placed in a detrimental situation in which he has to try to survive alone on Mars. Ooooo, conflict–who doesn’t love a man vs. nature survival narrative? In which the protagonist attempts to outsmart and outmaneuver the harsh Martian environment? The voice is conversational, fast-paced and action-packed since the story is presented through Watney’s log entries. It’s a cool personal verbalized diary +a hilarious first-person narrative.

Analysis

So Mark Watney has a great sense of humour, especially when he is trapped in intense situations that threaten his life. His sense of humour not only reflects his optimism but also his resilience. It’s a positive trait that allows him to have a coping system that drives him forward in a lighthearted manner during the most heavy-hearted times, and also makes him more human. What this does is that it gets the readers to root for him–and I think it also allows him to be more vulnerable and relatable during difficult emotional moments. It instills an incredible hope within us readers–and not to mention it renders him extremely likable. (I know some writers are not fond of the dropping of F bombs, but for me, I think the occasional swear words make a character more approachable. And sometimes it’s just a fun punch-line that can spice up the narrative.)

Hook

From the first page onward we (readers) are on his side, and we have a clear goal together: survive Mars and go home to Earth. It’s a simple, powerful story hook because it is the most basic human instinct that connects us together: to live. And being stranded on Mars is the most extreme case of alienation there is–wanting to see Watney rescued–wanting to feel what he feels when he turns–I think in a way this really tugs at our heartstrings because no matter how thick and complicated our own stories are, we, deep down inside, harbour a profound compassion for other human beings and we want more than anything to connect–to witness homecoming story of incredible human resilience and connection in which Watney gets to live and go back to Earth.

Needless to say, SOLD!

Opening Paragraphs: Case Study #6: City of Dark Magic by Magnus Flyte

The Save Venice fund-raiser began as these things do, with Bellinis, with tiny toast points topped with squid pate, and with swaying musicians playing the greatest hits of Italian opera beneath a fresco by Tiepolo. Sequined women and tuxedo-clad men stepped out of teak vaporetti onto the private dock at Ca’ Rezzonico, where, it was hoped, strong drink and the thought of beautiful palazzi sinking into the sands below would lift wallets as easily as a child pickpocket in the Piazza San Marco.

The organizers were salivating, greeting a German fashion designer, an American hedge fund owner, and a dour British playwright. Models had been hired to improve the beauty quotient, since billionaires are not especially attractive up close.

Observations

There’s a prologue. Okay, calm down, Kim. It’s only 3 pages. (Don’t you just hate prologues that span the length of an entire chapter!?) Alright. Epic win…or epic fail!? First of all, there is a lot of Italian words that I don’t understand. This opening seems very depersonalized, as in like there is no focus on a character–not even people in general. It’s more about the fundraiser event and its visual particulars, and it’s mostly atmospheric. It kind of feels like the function itself is a mechanism, peopled by important social, political and artistic figures titles, where they gather so they can be enchanted into donating money. Yes, it feels very mechanical (not in a dull, lifeless way), and there is enough intrigue for me to keep going.

Analysis

The foreign Italian words immediately made me think of Venice–or the many stereotypical images of Italy: bridges, gondolas, European/historical buildings, sparkles of city lights. I think the words add to the overall atmospherics and picture. The depersonalized descriptions of human characters (such as Sequined women and tuxedo-clad men) put an emphasis on their class or status–or the appearance of these individuals and what they are here for. There is an air of superficiality: I’m getting the feeling that all the people that attend this function are simply there to show their face or to perform a role. You don’t know who these people are. It doesn’t matter because the organizers just want them to donate. It’s a friendly, extravagant facade in which people gathered to smile at each other.

Hook

I’m a highly character-oriented reader so usually a depersonalized opening will throw me off, but there is a sense of fluidity and mystery in the opening passage, as one image seems to flow into the next and the pacing is very smooth. We are just scratching the surface, and I feel like there is more to be unveiled. There is a secret buried under this lush and high class party. Later on in the prologue, a few people jump out of the window, seemingly having committed suicide. The depersonalized and detached tone remains: the distant voice teases you with a feather and promises you more mystery.

Needless to say I am sold, since I am several chapters in already. This is coming from a reader who has high resistance to prologues. Maybe I’m not as prologue-resistant as I would like to think I am.

Also, from the back cover I learned that this is potentially time-travelling narrative, I am noticing a few teasers already…who is Beethoven’s mysterious lover? Why was he yelling like a freak at one point at his patron’s family? What does Polly’s dream mean–is it prophetic? Promises, promises. They’re there for you to recognize, I think, and they’re not annoyingly overdone.

Opening Paragraphs: Case Study #4: The Maze Runner by James Dashner

He began his new life standing up, surrounded by cold darkness and stale, dusty air.

Metal ground against metal; a lurching shudder shook the floor beneath him. He fell down at the sudden movement and shuffled backward on his hands and feet, drops of sweat beading on his forehead despite the cool air. His back struck a hard metal wall; he slid along it until he hit the corner of the room. Sinking to the floor, he pulled his legs up right against his body, hoping his eyes would soon adjust to the darkness.

With another jolt, the room jerked upward like an old lift in a mine shaft.

Observations

The novel opens with the protagonist’s predicament in an unfamiliar situation. No name, no context, no explanation. There is a strong sense of disorientation and confusion, as the protagonist does not seem to have a will of his own. He is completely and utterly passive in this opening scene as he is trapped inside a metal elevator of some kind that rises with a jerk upward. As readers, we don’t know what is happening, we don’t know why he is there, and we don’t know what is going to happen next.

Analysis

There is no additional information given about the character’s identity or what on earth is happening in that scene. “He began his new life standing up” implies that the protagonist himself lacks both the knowledge of his present situation and memory of his past. The act of standing up requires some conscious physical control, and we can deduce that rather than knowledge, he probably lacks the memory to recall where he is. If his eyes are still adjusting to the darkness, we can assume that prior to his predicament, he came from a place that has some kind of light source–which is paradoxical since the elevator appears to be going up. Was he underground? Not much is clear at this point.

Hook 

This story’s hook is an example of in medias res–beginning in the middle of an action or a situation. The total lack of information creates a powerful desire to investigate–to know more about the story and find out what’s going on. This strongly propelled me to continue reading. It also made me curious about the character’s potential memory loss. I have really ambiguous feelings towards memory-losses; I think it can be a powerful story device when the trope is done well, but it can also be easily overdone and lackluster. I have yet to find out which one is true. Having that said, this story opening has successfully sparked the desire to read on. All in all it’s a pretty great hook.

(Extras: So I didn’t finish the book. Since Maze Runner is one of the most popular books in the YA genre, I decided to give it a shot. I didn’t continue because I found the narrative annoying…pretty much every single action or story event that takes place is accompanied by a description of the protagonist’s personal/emotional state. I don’t know how many times I’ve read that the protagonist is confused or scared or angry. And nothing much happens in the first 40 pages, and my interest waned considerably. Maybe the movie will be better, but I doubt it.)

Opening Paragraphs: Case Study #3: Promise of the Wolves by Dorothy Hearst

Prologue

40,000 YEARS AGO

It got cold. It got so cold, the legends say, that rabbits hid underground for months at a time, the elk took to living in caves, and birds fell from the sky as their wings froze in midflight. It got so cold that the air crystallized in front of the Wide Valley wolves as they hunted. Each breath seared their lungs and even their thick undercoats did not protect them. Wolves are made for winter, but this was a winter beyond all wolves. The sun stayed always on the far side of the Earth, and the moon, which before had  been a vibrant beacon, chilled to black dimness.

The raven king said it was the winter to end the world. That it would last three full years and that it was sent to punish those who ignored the will of the Ancients. All Lydda knew was that she was hungry, and that her pack could not hunt.

Observations

The novel opens with a prologue, an ancient past detailed in the legends about a apocalyptic cold that may potentially bring an end to all creatures. The first paragraph first highlights a few animals of the forest, such as the rabbit, the elk, and the birds–before introducing the main cast of the story, the wolves. The wolves are deeply affected by the cold, accompanied by a sense of smallness and despair. The raven king is “quoted”, presumably a wise prophetic figure in this particular fictional universe. He introduces the Ancients to the readers, who pose as a higher power or some kind of divinity that rules above all earthly creatures. Finally, a character is introduced: Lydda. Like all other creatures and her wolfmates, she is affected by the winter. Conflict is introduced: Lydda is hungry, and she cannot hunt with her pack.

Analysis

I am usually skeptical about prologues, because they tend to be obscure, unnecessarily mystifying, and adds nothing to the story. This prologue opening is anything but. I am already several chapters in, and I know that the legend itself is intricately linked with the characters and plot that are presently unfolding. What has occurred in the legends also play an integral role in shaping the lives and circumstances of the present characters. In short, it is very relevant to the story.

From the very beginning there is a clear sense of conflict: the seemingly eternal and unbearable cold that freezes the world over and threatens to end the lives of the forest. Instead of a series of mirrors and smoke (which gets tremendously annoying), the story immediately focuses on the wolves–which, from the title of this novel Promise of the Wolves, is obviously the central figures within the story. Lydda, the temporary protagonist of this prologue, makes her appearance without delay. The cold, of course, falls on all creatures alike, but on a personal level, Lydda is hungry because her pack cannot hunt in this weather. Her very survival (as well as her pack’s) is at stake. Without a doubt, this will be her motivation that drives her forward, and it is a simple but very powerful one.

Hook

This is one of the best openings I have ever read! The hook is the clear sense of conflict as well as a powerful character drive. The pacing is quick and thorough; no words are wasted on gimmicks or “preternatural” effects–if you know what I mean. The storytelling is absolutely amazing. I am dying to finish this book–and it’s really rare to encounter a story like this.

Oh, and if you saw my previous Case Study on The Court of Air, I gave up after the second chapter because the story was all over the place. Most importantly, the main characters aren’t very well-established. Characters are top priority for me when I am reading a story and I just can’t bear a book that mistreats (even unintentionally) its characters.

From Writer’s Relief: 9 Key Elements Of Great Endings For Books And Stories

This is a post I found quite useful via Writer’s Relief website.

Original post here: http://www.writersrelief.com/blog/2013/05/great-endings-for-books-and-stories/

After a reader finishes a book or a short story, it’s often the ending that resonates most strongly. In some ways, the whole book is about its ending: Everything leads up to the ending, and once it’s over, everything points back to it.

But great endings are hard to do well. They require a writer to have a lot of control over the narrative tension and pacing. They often gather many plot elements together into a singular compelling moment to create a high-tension climax. No easy task!

Here are a few elements that can make for a great ending for your book or story:

The “right” ending. A good ending is in line with what came before it. Consider the deus ex machina technique of ancient playwriting. At the last second, the gods swoop in and save the right people. The end.

These days, that kind of contrived ending doesn’t jive with readers. The ending needs to be a logical, appropriate conclusion for what came before—not an ending that comes out of the blue.

The unpredictable element. Even though your ending needs to follow the action that came before it, the best endings aren’t predictable. This doesn’t mean you have to write a shocking plot twist; it just means the ending incorporates some element of surprise.

The plot twist. A plot twist ending can be ginormous or subtle, but what’s most important is that it’s not expected. Some writers have reported that the best plot twists “surprise” even them. Other plots twists are scripted from the get-go. Either way, a good twist feels surprising, but it’s also natural, appropriate, and somehow right.

The dark moment. Your characters’ dark moment arrives when all is apparently lost, when the gulf between hero and heroine seems too big, when it’s clear the aliens will win, when the truth makes the world look doomed and bleak. The blacker your dark moment, the bigger the emotional payoff if/when your characters triumph. Read more about character development.

The emotional epiphany/change. Your main character’s eureka moment can make for a good ending if the moment is big enough. The moment can be one of sudden understanding or insight. Whatever your eureka moment, be sure it has big repercussions for your main character, but also for all the characters around him/her.

The could-have-changed-but-didn’t dead end. If your book is character-driven (or literary), this ending might be especially useful. In this scenario, your character is given a clear opportunity to turn his/her life around. Everything hangs in the emotional balance. But in the end, the character goes back to his/her old ways.

Comingling happy and sad. Often, the best endings aren’t exclusively happy or exclusively sad. By writing an ending that’s both satisfying and full of complex emotion, your reader will be thinking of your story long after he/she turns the last page.

But, as always, it’s important to know your genre. If your readers expect a 100% happy ending, give it to them (or joyfully embrace the risks you take as a writer and cultivate realistic expectations).

Leave room for interpretation. Some great endings are open-ended. When you leave your ending open, you get people talking, thinking, and looking for answers.

Tie up loose ends quickly. After the climactic moment, don’t linger with long explanations of “what happens next.” Once the party’s over, go home. Scenes that follow the climax tend to be low tension.